Thoughts On The Perfect Traveling Companion

I think we all under estimate the value of a good traveling partner.  Having been “around” with enough exposure, I think I can say that having the right companion really makes any trip more enjoyable, rewarding, and stimulating.  When I was a young man, I mostly traveled alone.  There was a lot of freedom in that, but having someone to share not only the travel but the memories of that travel would have been nice.  In the past 20 years, Peggy and I have been to Italy, China, Barbados, the UK, Mexico, Hawaii and road tripped across the US together in a 1985 Isuzu Trooper.  Not only is she my wife, she IS my ideal traveling companion.  I am eternally grateful for this.

So, I suppose that it a given that everyone has a different perspective on what qualities make up this ideal companion, but I can only venture an opinion on mine.  First and foremost, she must be a ‘glass half full’ person.  Optimism and hope must be an integral part of their personality. I have traveled with folks that have found the downside to just about every situation and thing, and then cannot help but voice that opinion.  “The bed is too hard,” or “I’ll bet the people in this town are unfriendly”, or “the service is slow because they hate Americans.”  Being around such people is not great for travel, nor is it desirable in any situation.  So I say,  “C’mon, build a bridge and get over it.”

The companion must have a sense of adventure.  Itineraries do not always work exactly as planned.  I am not saying one should not plan.  That would be foolish, but there is nothing that says a plan needs to be etched in stone.  Sometimes, the greatest adventures are those that occur spontaneously and ‘off book.’  Taking the ‘other’ road sometimes requires a bit of courage, but often provides the best surprises.  Once again, I do not suggest craziness, just openness in taking advantage of the choices and opportunities that lay before you.  Your companion cannot be so adhered to a plan that they do not even look for alternatives.

In speaking of courage, I think one should be brave enough to try to communicate in the native tongue of the land one is traveling in.  Now I am not saying that fluency is mandatory, but I think people really appreciate it when you have enough respect for the person and the country to ‘try’ the language.  I have seen so many travelers that automatically expect that English is spoken.  I think one should at least have the courtesy to ask first “excusez moi, parlez-vous anglais?” or “perdon, habla ingles?” or whatever rather than just blurt out “do you speak English?”   Eye contact, a little body English, and universal gestures should be part of your vocabulary.  I am not multi-lingual, but I find the little bit of a language that I do use gives me a ‘feeling’ or a ‘rhythm’ for the country in which I am traveling.  Peggy is like most monolingual Americans and teaching her Spanish is akin to teaching a fish to sing…..but she tries, and that warms my heart.  She has been able to negotiate bargain train tickets in France, convey lost luggage to authorities, find and buy a hairbrush that she absolutely had to have, and make her way alone over the Pyrenees armed only with a Translator App on her iPhone and a phrase book.

What goes along with the optimism and courage is flexibility.  The timetable for people in other lands is often different than what one experiences back home.  A good example is eating times.  Just because you eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at certain times does not mean that it is so in your new environment.  Europeans not only eat at different times, but they eat different things.  Americans who seek the bacon and egg breakfast with hashbrowns will have a sorrowful awakening in Paris for example.  Finding a restaurant open at 5 pm may also  be a challenge.  I think the message here is to not try and find something that fits your schedule, but ADAPT to a new schedule.  You know, “while in Rome…”  If you expect everything to be just like home, you might as well just stay at home.

Being able to travel simply and letting go of past experiences are great attributes.  I know that many folks our age have probably known a time when travel expectations were higher.  People used to ‘dress’ for air travel and for dining.  Service was much more encompassing than it is now.   It is perhaps a bit sad that some of these customs have fallen to the wayside, but basing your current experience on a yardstick that no longer exists is folly. 

I think understanding that all things must pass is a good way to travel.  Unfortunately, mishaps occur in travel as they do in ‘life.’  But few things are so dire that they will not pass.  Lost luggage?  You can always get more latter.  Misplaced tickets?  Buy another or find another way to travel.  Injury? Hey, it will heal.  No one knows better than I do.  Social faux pas?  You won’t see them again anyway, so have a laugh about it when you tell your friends at home about your trip.

The ability to travel together but also alone is important for my traveling companion and me.  Being joined at the hip for the duration of an entire vacation is stifling and unnatural.  I need my alone time to process all that a journey has to offer.  Peggy is soloing across the Pyrenees.  I wish that I could go with her but my disabilities disallow this.  Her courage to go it alone and to leave me is part of what make us ideal traveling companions.  I will miss her these next few days.